


Damned If I Do You, Damned If I Don't

by just_spn_trash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcoholic John Winchester, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Closeted Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Repressed, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Priest Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:40:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28911735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_spn_trash/pseuds/just_spn_trash
Summary: Dean Winchester thought he had the perfect life. Away from his dad, a perfect wife, a good job, everything he could've dreamt of. What he didn't plan was to meet someone, someone who made him question everything in a matter of seconds.Castiel Novak was born into a highly religious family. His mother raised him, taught him to be the perfect man, someone who never did something wrong. What Castiel didn't plan was that a single man, someone who just moved into their little town, could make him question everything he learned in his life.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taylortheclown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylortheclown/gifts), [MellyCrazyCoconut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellyCrazyCoconut/gifts).



> So, this idea is based on a video SOMEONE sent (cough, taylortheclown I'm looking at you), and I decided to start uploading it already. It's not done yet, so it could take some time for me to finish, but I promise it'll be worth it. At first this was supposed to be a short fic, but somehow it got longer and longer and... well, here we are.
> 
> There will be some rough topics, but I'll make sure to put warnings at the beginning of each chapter. I mentioned some of them in the tags already, so make sure to check them out.
> 
> Have fun!

"Come on honey, you promised!" 

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes before he looked at his wife with a straight face. The pout on her face was adorable, but the last thing Dean wanted to do was go to the church in their new town. 

"Lisa, I swear I'll come another time, just let me sleep." 

He pulled the blanket over his head, but his wife didn't let it go. She grabbed the blanket and pulled it away before she jumped on Dean and leaned down to kiss him. 

"I know how much you hate it, but you know it's important to me. Please, I promise that I’ll make it up to you after, I have a surprise planned." 

Now Dean was starting to become interested. He studied her face carefully while he wrapped his arms around her waist, a lazy smirk spreading on his face. 

"A surprise? What would that entail?" 

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise anymore."

Lisa smiled back at Dean and gave him one last peck on the lips before she climbed out of bed. Sighing, Dean watched her and wondered how he ever got so lucky. Lisa turned around one last time and gave Dean a soft smile before she disappeared through the door. 

With a groan, the mechanic sat up and looked at the clock, before he stretched his whole body. 7:30. Perfect. Not even on Sundays, was he allowed to sleep in. He got out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Afterwards, he headed downstairs to the kitchen. Lisa had already prepared coffee, for which Dean was more than thankful. Without saying a word he took a cup and filled it, before he sat down at the table, looking at his wife the whole time. 

"Does that mean you're coming?" 

Lisa started to grin and Dean just rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop the little smirk that spread across his face. 

"Of course I'm coming, babe. As if I could say no to you." 

He sighed dramatically, but the hug that Lisa gave him made it more than worth it. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before her lips started to trace over his neck just lightly. 

"I love you," she whispered into his ear and Dean had to hold back a shiver, while he turned his head to catch her lips with his. 

"Love you too, but would you let me drink my coffee now?" 

He chuckled quietly when his wife rolled her eyes this time, but he knew that she wasn’t mad. After almost ten years of marriage, he could read her better than himself and he wouldn't want it any other way. When they first met, Dean was only a teenager. He just finished high school and started to work at Bobby's place as a mechanic. That's where he met Lisa. One day, she brought her car in because it had been making weird noises - which was only because it needed some oil - and Dean was immediately head over heels for her. He asked her out almost immediately, making a fool of himself in the process, but he didn't care, because he'd never seen a woman like her before. 

They got together shortly after and two years into their relationship, Dean proposed to her, which was the best decision of his whole life. Sure, now and then they had some problems, but all in all their marriage was easy, almost too good to be true. 

"What's going on inside your head?" 

Dean didn't even notice that he zoned out, but then he smiled softly and took his wife's hand, who was sitting at the opposite side of the table, her own cup of coffee in one hand. 

"I was just thinking about how much I love you." 

Dean watched her blush, but her eyes turned soft and she squeezed his hand. 

"I love you too honey, but you can think about that later, we have to get ready." 

With a wink, she emptied her cup and then disappeared into the bathroom. Dean sighed and also took a few big gulps, closing his eyes while the caffeine started to work its way into his system. 

He never was religious, never cared about church or God and all that shit, but for Lisa, he'd do anything. She’d been trying to get him to go to church for years now, but he thought that maybe she would give up now that they moved to Jacksonville. He thought that maybe, just maybe moving to a small town like Lisa had always wanted would satisfy her enough, but then he realized that he was wrong. He had to give in.

"You getting ready or what?" 

Dean's wife stuck her head out of the bathroom and smiled oh so sweetly and Dean couldn’t bring himself to be mad at her. 

"Yeah, just gimme five more minutes." 

*******

Castiel yawned big before he picked up the bible on the small table in the backroom of the church. The bells had just started ringing, and even though he loved his job most of the time, on days like these it was pretty hard. He hadn’t slept much and his whole body hurt, but he knew that he couldn’t just call in sick. Since he was still living with his mother and couldn’t move out, she’d probably kill him if he did that.

With a big sigh, he opened the door and stepped out carefully, so that he wouldn’t hurt himself even more. The first thing he did was force a smile before he walked over to the lectern and put the bible down. With tired eyes and a slightly blurred vision he looked around, Two new faces caught his attention, making him stop for a few moments. He hadn’t seen that couple - he assumed it was a couple - before and his forced smile grew into a real one when he saw that young people still seemed to be interested in religion, though the man didn’t actually look that happy to be here. 

With newfound motivation, Castiel greeted everyone and started his speech. His eyes jumped to the new couple over and over again while he was talking and he was surprised to see that the man’s eyes were completely fixed on him the whole time. Halfway through his speech, he could practically feel that man staring at him. At first, Castiel tried to ignore it, tried to act like he always did, but something about the new couple made him feel nervous. He started to stumble over his words, for which he earned some disapproving looks from his mother, which of course was also here. For a second he thought she was going to stand up and take over, but when he gave her a sharp look - which he definitely would regret later - she seemed to calm down a bit. 

Castiel kept getting warmer and warmer in his robe and soon he was sweating, but at least he was able to finish without any other incidents. He had never felt such relief than on this day when the church bells started to ring, but the feeling of being stared at still didn’t go away, even when the people started to leave the church, no, it got even worse. He watched the couple stand up, walking towards him, before he quickly closed his bible and held it tightly to his chest. Usually, he had no problem greeting new people, so Castiel blamed it on the lack of sleep and the treatment of his mother the day before.

“Hello Father, we just wanted to introduce ourselves. I’m Lisa Winchester, and this is my husband, Dean. We just moved here three days ago. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Castiel turned to face them, a forced smile on his lips. The man - Dean, he reminded himself - was looking at the ground, not saying a single word, but he didn’t have to because apparently, his wife loved talking. 

“It’s nice to meet you Lisa, Dean. Welcome to our church. I uh - I hope that the service was pleasant for you.”

_ I hope that the service was pleasant for you?  _ Castiel didn’t know where those words came from, but somehow they sounded more than wrong. Dean looked up then, a surprised expression on his face and Castiel froze. Those were the greenest eyes he had ever seen and combined with those freckles…

“Castiel, what was wrong with you today?”

_ Great _ . His mother stepped right next to him, a small, but cold smile on her face.

“You must be new here. I’m Naomi, Castiel’s mother, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sorry about my son, he seemed to be somewhere else with his head today.”

Castiel lowered his head, too embarrassed to look at the couple any longer, but then the man -  _ Dean  _ \- cleared his throat. 

“ ‘ts okay, we’ve seen worse.”

Good god, that voice. It was deep and raspy and Castiel couldn’t help but stare, his mouth hanging open just a bit. Not long after, he could feel an elbow pushing into his ribs, hard, and he sucked in a sharp breath.

“No, she’s right, I got - I got distracted today. I’m sorry for that, usually, I know how to do my job.”

Dean stared right back at him, his eyes also wider than before, but Castiel couldn’t look away. It was like he could look right into the other man’s soul, yet he seemed to hide so much. 

“So, uh… you’re the only priest here?”

The wife - Lisa - gave Castiel a warm smile as he tore his eyes away from Dean, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. God, what was wrong with him today? Maybe he was getting sick?

“Uh- yes, I am. My mother used to do services too, but then I took over.”

Castiel could slap himself and thought about just leaving for a second, but then Dean spoke again.

“That’s cool, I mean, uh… You- you look pretty young for a priest.”

Castiel watched Dean’s cheeks as they turned red and couldn’t hold back a little smile, but when his mother elbowed him again, it disappeared just as quickly as it came. 

“Actually, I’m 36, but that’s a nice compliment;” he mumbled, lowering his head once again. The church was completely empty by now, which made the feeling of being stared at even more intense.

“Oh,” was all Dean said, before Castiel saw him lower his head as well. Lisa looked back and forth between the two men, but then just shrugged and took Dean’s hand.

“Well, either way, it was nice meeting you Castiel, Naomi, but we have some plans for today. I hope we’ll see each other again soon. Come on Dean, I did promise you something.”

Lisa leaned over for the last sentence, but Castiel could still clearly hear her. His eyes jumped back to Dean and he could see how the other man’s face turned bright red before he gave his mother and him a nod and then quickly pulled his wife out of the church. Huh, that was weird. Castiel watched them go and his mother seemed to do the same thing because as soon as she was sure they couldn’t hear them anymore, she grabbed Castiel by the elbow and turned him towards her.

“What the hell was that, Castiel? Stuttering? Blushing? If I didn’t know any better I’d swear that you saw someone attractive. You know that lust is a sin, don’t you?”

His mother looked angry, almost furious, but Castiel was too tired to fight her, so he pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded. 

“Yes mother, I know. And you know as well as I do that I don’t get attracted to people. Maybe I’m getting sick... I don’t know. Can we just go home now? I need to sleep.”

Castiel wasn’t even lying, because his head was beginning to throb now and his vision was getting even more blurry, but as usual, his mother wasn’t satisfied.

“Sleep? You want to sleep during the day? What’s wrong with you, it’s like you changed completely overnight.”

Castiel didn’t have the nerve for any of that, so he just turned around to go into the backroom again to get changed, but his mother followed him, not even leaving him enough space to breathe. With a sigh, he took his robe off and changed into his normal clothes, a plain, black shirt and some dark blue jeans, but when he turned around, a sudden slap made his head spin. He lifted his hand to cover his cheek, which started burning almost immediately, but he tried to ignore it and clenched his jaw, his lips pressed together into a thin line.

“I don’t accept your current behaviour, Castiel. You know exactly how you should be talking to me. Or did you forget about the part that says you should respect your parents?”

Too afraid to get hit again, Castiel shook his head, followed by a quiet “I’m sorry.” The last thing he needed right now was for his mother to get even angrier, so he decided to stay silent. The slap made his headache even worse, but he tried not to show it. Instead, he grabbed his keys and walked to the car without another word, but even that seemed to be wrong.

“If you don’t learn how to behave, I can always find someone new for the church. You know I can and I will.”

_ Shit _ . His mother knew exactly how to get him. If he’d lose this job, he wouldn’t be able to get another one, since she didn’t allow him to learn anything else. Slowly, he turned around to face his mother, the most innocent expression he could do on his face.

“I’m sorry mother, I just don’t feel good today. I promise that I will be better.”

That seemed to satisfy her for now, because a small, cold smile spread on her lips, which almost made Castiel shiver. 

“I’m glad to hear that. Now get in the car, I want to be home in time, or your father will get grumpy again.”

Castiel nodded and got into the car without another word, but let out a sigh as soon as he was sitting. Why couldn’t he have a normal mother? The life of others seemed so easy, so full of love, but most of the time, Castiel felt like a soldier, just born to please his mother. He didn’t even get to go to a normal school. No, of course she had to teach him at home because she thought that ‘other people wouldn’t be good because they’re full of sin’. 

With another sigh, he started the engine as soon as his mother got in, hoping that at least at home he would be able to relax a bit. Those green eyes that were still present in his head was something Castiel totally ignored.


	2. Chapter 2

_Blue._ That was all Dean could think about, all there was. When he first looked into Castiel's eyes, he felt like he was drowning in them. He wasn't able to get a single word out at first, so he kept his mouth shut, but as soon as his mother appeared, anger flared up in his chest and he just _had_ to say something.

"Dean? Dean!"

Dean blinked a few times and shook his head, before he turned to look at Lisa. Clearly, she had been trying to talk to him for a while now, her face said it all.

"Huh?"

"The light's green."

Light? Oh, right. He turned his head to look out of the front window and kept driving. Just then, he started to notice that his hands were clenched around the steering wheel, hard enough that his knuckles had turned completely white. He tried to relax them and focus on the traffic, but soon his mind wandered back once again. What was this bitch thinking, huh? Her son was an adult for fucks sake, no need to treat him like that in front of other people.

Dean could clearly see how uncomfortable Castiel felt and he wished he could've done more, could've snapped at Naomi, but he knew that Lisa probably would've made a scene right there in the church, which was something he didn't need at all. But why did Castiel allow his mom to treat him like that in the first place? Even if it was subtle, Dean could clearly see how Naomi practically _rammed_ her elbow into the other man's side.

"Dean, what's wrong with you?"

Again, Dean needed a few seconds to actually understand what Lisa was saying, but then he just shrugged.

"Nothin', just a headache."

He knew it was a lie, but he also knew that this was his best chance to get some time alone, to be able to get those thoughts out of his head. Why did he even care? It's not like he didn't have his own family problems, so why should he care about others? He also was alone most of his life, no one ever truly cared about him, except for maybe his brother, Sam, but since he moved out and went to college, Dean was all alone - until he met Lisa. 

Lisa knew about almost everything, knew how he and Sam got treated in their childhood, how their dad used to come home late at night, completely drunk, just to beat the shit out of them. Of course, Dean always took the hits to protect his brother, but he never understood how his mom didn't seem to care at all. When they were alone at home one night, he tried to talk to her, tried to tell her what's happening in their house when she was sleeping, but she just brushed it off and told him to 'stop spreading lies'. 

At first, Dean thought that his mother actually didn't care, but when he got older, he noticed all those little things. How she flinched whenever John stepped close to her, how she always tried to please him, no matter how bad she felt. Basically, his childhood was a nightmare, but luckily, he got out. His life now was much better, even though he still had nightmares from time to time. When that happened, Lisa was always there to calm him down. She told him that it's okay, that it's not his fault and that he was out of there, but the sour taste in his mouth didn't go away. When the nightmares were really bad, he used to call his mom, no matter what time it was, just to check if she was okay.

"Damnit Dean, I don't know what's going on with you right now, but you definitely should stop."

Dean turned the engine off, before he turned to look at Lisa once more.

"I'm sorry, it's just… Did you see how Castiel got treated by his mom? It… it brought back some old memories."

Dean wasn't the type of person who randomly started talking about his feelings, but he knew that Lisa would understand him, she would listen to him. However, this time she furrowed her brows and gave Dean a look that made him question if he'd actually seen what happened.

"How he got treated? I didn't see anything, Naomi seemed like a really nice person to me. Are you sure that you're alright, honey?"

She lifted her hand and carefully put it on Dean's forehead, but he pushed it away and opened the door of the car to get out.

" 'm fine, promise. Just need some more sleep, I guess."

"Sleep, huh?"

Lisa followed him out of the car and stepped right behind him when he unlocked the door to their house, but even if he loved her, he just wasn't up for anything she had in mind. 

"Yeah, sleep," he mumbled, while he pushed the door open and took off his shoes. He almost stumbled over Sammy, their cat, named after his brother, which reminded him that he needed to get more allergy pills as soon as possible. With a small smile, he leaned down to pet him and watched happily how Sammy leaned into the touch.

Dean never really was a cat person, he couldn't be because of his allergies, but Lisa wanted one more than anything else, so of course he had to give in. The first few weeks were a nightmare. His eyes were watering constantly, he couldn't smell or taste a single thing and his skin was itchy the whole time, but eventually Lisa found a solution. She came home from work with a bright grin one day, some papers in her hands. At first, Dean was more than confused, but when he'd seen that all of that stuff was about drugs for cat allergies, a smile had spread on his face and he kissed Lisa stupid - after he was done sneezing four times. Now, Sammy was one of the most important things in Dean's life and he couldn't think about living without him anymore. 

"It's nice that you two get along so well, but it's getting cold out here."

Dean stood up again and took a step aside, a little smile on his face. Yes, his wife could be annoying from time to time, but even when she was, she still was more beautiful than anyone Dean had ever seen. 

Just when this thought crossed his mind, blue eyes popped up in his head again and he clenched his jaw. No, not this again. Dean wasn't attracted to guys, not at all. He couldn't be. He shook his head and took off his jacket before he went straight to the living room, but not without getting a coke out of the fridge first.

Lisa soon joined him on the couch and took the remote, before she sat down right on his lap, a little smirk on her face.

"Remember the surprise I promised you?"

Then she leaned down to kiss him and Dean kissed her back, but kept it innocent. His wife seemed to notice what he was doing and slowly, her hand slipped under his shirt and wandered up, but he stopped her when she reached his chest.

"Babe, I really just need to relax a bit, okay? My head is fucking killing me."

Again, a lie, but what could Dean do? Tell his wife that he couldn't stop thinking about Castiel, the mysterious guy who happened to have the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen and the deepest voice he'd ever heard? Who looked good, even in that stupid robe? The guy who got treated like shit by his mother?

No, of course he couldn't tell her. Lisa rolled her eyes because of his language, but she stopped correcting him a long time ago. She placed one last kiss onto Dean's lips, before she climbed down from him and looked at her phone. 

"Hey, Rachel just texted me, asked if I want to come over. You okay with that?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at first, because since when did she ask to go out? He looked her up and down just once, but then couldn't hold back the little smirk that started to spread on his lips. 

"Only if I get another kiss," he said, before he got up and pulled her into a tight hug. Somehow, this kind of physical connection seemed to be exactly what he needed, because as soon as he could feel her arms around him, his muscles relaxed immediately and he let out a quiet hum.

"Hmm, don't be back too late, 'kay?"

Lisa laughed and pushed him away, but then gave him one last, quick kiss.

"I promise. And you promise me not to overthink everything too much again, alright?"

Dean rolled his eyes, but nodded, before he flopped back down on the couch, eyes fixed on the TV. Sometimes he really hated that Lisa knew him so well, but on the other hand, she always found a solution for his problems, always knew when he needed someone, even if he was unable to say it.

As soon as he heard the door closing, he got his phone out of his pocket to dial his mom. It rang a few times before she picked up, but it wasn't his mom.

"Dean? What do you want?"

_Geez_ , no need to say hello first, dad.

"Hey dad, I wanted to talk to mom. Is she there?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone, but then he heard a grunt and a few moments later, he could hear his mother's voice.

"Hey Dean, how are you doing?"

He could hear the smile in her voice, but he also noticed that she sounded tired, almost wrung out. There was a sting in his heart all of a sudden and he felt his eyes watering, but he quickly blinked a few times.

"Hey mom, I'm doing- I'm doing good, I guess. Little stressed because of the move, but otherwise I'm great."

There was silence again for a short time, but then he could hear his mom clicking her tongue. Shit.

"That's great sweetie, but how about we skip the part where you lie to me, I pretend I don't notice, but then you tell me anyway, hm?"

Almost instantly, Dean regretted calling her, but he knew that she wouldn't stop asking, now that she knew something was wrong.

"It's nothing mom, really, I just… something happened today and, y'know, it - it brought back some memories."

"What happened? God Dean, do I still have to ask for every little detail?"

His mom chuckled and Dean smiled too, but then his face got serious, because even though he wanted to talk about it, he couldn't tell his mom, because she was still living in that abusive household.

"It was nothing, really. Hey, how're you doing, by the way? Everything good? No other… incidents?"

"I'm fine Dean, I told you a million times not to worry about me. But everything is okay with Lisa? You're still happy with her?"

"Sure, I'm - I'm happy."

Dean knew that his voice sounded different, he knew that his mom would notice, but technically it wasn't a lie. Sure, he was totally happy with Lisa, but those _eyes_ were still popping up in his mind over and over again. 

"Come on, tell me what's wrong."

"Mom…"

He could hear his mother sigh and even though they haven't seen each other in a few weeks, he could still tell what expression must be on her face.

"Okay, okay. But you know you can talk to me, right? Your secrets are safe with me."

Now it was Dean's turn to sigh and he nodded, but he remembered that his mother couldn't see him, so he choked out a quick "Thanks, mom."

"Okay. I have to go get the laundry, but you know that you can call me anytime. Love you, sweetie."

"Love you too."

With that, his mom hung up and Dean noticed only then that she completely avoided talking about herself once again, which probably meant that something did happen. Shit. Why was she so stubborn? She could leave John, could live a life free from pain, but she decided against it. 

Dean stared at his phone, tears in his eyes, but he blinked them away quickly. One day, he would get her out of there. With another sigh, he threw his phone on the table in front of him and lay down on the couch, trying to focus on the movie that was playing, but soon, his eyes fell shut. At first he tried to stay awake, but after a while, he let it happen, let sleep take over, hoping that he wouldn't be such a mess anymore after some sleep.

***

"Dean? Honey, I'm home!"

Dean startled by Lisa's voice and sat up quickly. His eyes jumped to the clock, just to see that he had been asleep for almost four hours. With a yawn, he rubbed his face and stretched his body, before he stood up and headed to the kitchen, where Lisa's voice seemed to come from. As soon as she saw him, a smile spread on her face and she walked over to him to give him a quick kiss.

"Hey, you feel better? You look like you just woke up."

Dean also smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist, before he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Yeah, I think so. Fell asleep on the couch."

He could feel how Lisa wrapped her arms around his neck and his smile grew, but only for a few seconds, because what she said next made him freeze.

"You know what, I met Naomi on my way back. We talked for a while and she asked if we wanted to come over to have coffee together."

Slowly, Dean took a step back, his eyes a bit wider than normal.

"You - you mean Castiel's mom? Sorry, but I pass."

Huh. Dean wasn't sure why, but his voice sounded much colder than before. Just being reminded of what he'd witnessed in church this morning made his blood boil and he clenched his hands to fists. Lisa gave him an eyeroll, before she opened the fridge to get out a bottle of water.

"You could give her a chance, at least. What you've seen or think you've seen could've been something else entirely. I get why you get angry about it, I really do, but not every parent is like your dad."

Since when did she talk like that? Usually, she was nice and worried and caring, but right now, Dean felt like he was just punched in the face.

"Oh, really? I know what I've seen Lisa, and I won't visit her just to see more of that crap. You can go, but I won't come."

Again, Dean didn't even know why he was trying to defend Castiel, but something in the other man's eyes had told him that there was more crap going on, more that reminded him of his past. What if he also got hit? What if his father was also a drunk bastard who didn't know how to raise a kid?

"What the hell is wrong with you, Dean? You barely know those people, you should give them a chance. Maybe try to talk to Castiel, Naomi said he'll be there too. I'm sure there's some big misunderstanding here."

"No. No, I won't. Have fun then."

Dean turned around and left the kitchen immediately, but of course Lisa followed him. Back in the living room, he sat down on the couch and took the remote, but his wife stepped right in front of him to block his view.

"Okay, talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about."

He tried to avoid Lisa's eyes, but after a few moments she cupped his cheeks and gently pushed his head up.

"Dean, there's clearly something going on with you and I want you to tell me what it is."

Dean held her gaze for a few seconds, determined to keep his mouth shut, but then he sighed and brushed a hand over his face.

"I told you already. I know what I've seen, okay? I know there's something going on."

Lisa let go of his face and sat down next to him, taking his hand and squeezing it softly. That those blue eyes were still popping up in his head every time he wasn't careful, he didn't mention.

"Okay, then come with me and we'll find out. If something else happens, then you know for sure. If not, you can let it go. Does that sound like a good idea?"

For a second, Dean wanted to shake his head, but he knew that he couldn't let it go without knowing what was really going on, so he gave her a defeated nod. 

"Okay. Okay, I'm coming."

As soon as Dean agreed, Lisa's words seemed to hit him. Castiel would be there. Castiel, with those fucking blue eyes and this unbelievable deep voice. Shit, Dean was fucked.

"Good. You maybe should take a shower before we go, you drooled, honey."

With a chuckle, Lisa pointed to a spot on his neck, but Dean couldn't laugh about it. If this would go anything like this morning, Lisa would notice in no time that something was definitely not right. He stood up with a nod, not even caring to look at her again and headed to the shower, hoping that the hot water would be enough to wash away those thoughts he definitely didn't want to have.


	3. Chapter 3

“What do you mean, they’re coming over?” 

Panic started to spread through Castiel’s body, just by thinking about someone finding out that he still lived with his mom. Usually, they never had guests, so it was even more weird that his mother invited the new couple to have coffee all of a sudden. 

“Is that a problem for you, Castiel?”

There it was again, his mother’s challenging voice and he knew exactly that if he’d say the wrong thing now, he definitely would regret it later.

“What? No, no I just… we usually don’t have guests, that’s all. It surprised me for a second.”

Castiel lowered his head and avoided looking at his mother, knowing that she’d probably find something in his expression, something that wouldn’t please her. 

“Good, then go and put some nice clothes on, we want to look good for our guests. Bart, could you help me in the kitchen, please?”

He nodded and turned around to quickly head to his room, still wondering what had changed his mother’s opinion on inviting guests into their house. Maybe that new couple wasn’t that bad, after all. 

***

Castiel was still in his room, trying to figure out what to wear when he heard the doorbell ring. His hands were sweaty and for some reason, his heart was hammering against his ribs. He took a deep breath and looked into the mirror. Yes, blue jeans and a plain, black shirt, that would do. When he looked up, he noticed that his cheek was still red and even though his stubble hid most of it, it was clear to see that someone must've hit him. 

"Castiel, are you coming?"

Shit. If he went down there like this, Dean and - what was her name? - oh right, Lisa, would see the handprint. 

"I- I don't feel that good. I don't think it's a good idea to come down."

Castiel's heart was racing and he was having trouble breathing while the seconds of silence seemingly stretched out for what felt like minutes. After some time, he could hear footsteps on the wooden stairs and shortly after, the door to his room opened.

"Castiel, I told you-"

"I know, but- I can't."

He lifted a trembling hand and pointed to his cheek, hoping that his mother would understand for once. She opened her mouth, about to say something, but then pressed her lips together and gave him a nod, before she closed the door again. He listened closely until he couldn't hear her footsteps anymore, before he jumped on his bed, face buried in one of the pillows. His eyes were stinging, but he wouldn't let himself cry, not now. Why did he even feel the need to cry? It was not like he was looking forward to meeting Dean again, not at all. 

***

Some time passed and Castiel could hear their muffled voices, their laughter - but he couldn't hear Dean's voice at all. Maybe just his wife came to visit? Slowly, he got up from his bed and headed to the door to press his ear against it. They were laughing, he could hear his mother, his father, Lisa- but not Dean. Someone said something, but he couldn't make out the words, couldn't even tell who it was. With a sigh, he stepped back from the door and looked into the mirror again, just to see that the handprint was still there. If he just would've listened to his mother, if he would've been the son she wanted…

Suddenly, he could hear footsteps on the stairs again. He startled, thinking that maybe his mother changed her mind and took a few steps away from the mirror, but stumbled over a pile of books. He was too surprised to react, so he fell back, right on his butt. A groan escaped him, but instead of his mother coming into his room like he'd expected, there was a quiet knock on the door, almost hesitant. What if it was Lisa and she heard him? He held his breath, hoping that she'd go away, but then there was another knock, louder this time. 

"Uh… Castiel? Are- are you in there?"

Oh no. No, he thought Dean wasn't here, how-

"I heard something fall and I, uh… I wanted to ask if you're alright? I know you don't feel good, so I don't wanna bother you, but um… that noise was pretty loud, so…"

Castiel panicked. What could he say that would make Dean go away? He wasn't good with interacting with people, didn't even know how men at their age would talk to each other.

"I'm… fine," he mumbled, just loud enough that Dean could hear him. Slowly, he got up from the ground and sat down on the edge of his bed, thinking about what else to say, but he didn't need to.

"Good, that's uh… good. Listen man, I just wanna check on you. Can- can I come in? I uh… I made a pie and thought maybe you wanna try it."

Castiel's first instinct was to say no, to keep Dean as far away as possible, but the other man sounded so unsure, almost shy, and something about that made Castiel fight the urge to push him away.

"Yes, just… just a minute."

He quickly dimmed the light just enough so that the red handprint on his cheek wouldn't be that visible, before he climbed into bed again, lying down so that Dean could only see the right side of his face, the one that looked normal. He pulled the blanket up, ready to hide, before he let out a shaky breath.

"Okay, you uh… you can come in."

The door opened and Castiel resisted the urge to turn his head, to fully look at Dean. First, the other man only took a single step inside and looked around, but after a few moments he closed the door and walked over to the bed, a plate with a big slice of cherry pie in his hand.

"Here, uh… I didn't know if you'd like cherry, but-"

"I love cherry. Thanks, Dean."

He took the plate, holding his breath while doing so to hide how much he was shaking. He could feel Dean's eyes on him and when their fingers brushed for a second, his head snapped around, because he'd never felt something like that before. It was like an electric shock, but much softer, something that made him feel all warm and tingly. Dean seemed to feel it too, because his eyes went wide and he quickly pulled his hand back, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Uh… th- thanks," he mumbled again and it almost seemed like Dean was trying to find a way to get out again, because his gaze jumped to the door for a second.

" 'ts fine, I just-"

He rubbed his neck and lowered his head and even though Castiel knew he shouldn't stare, he couldn't look away. He watched how Dean's fingers gripped his neck, how the muscles moved in his hand and his arm and his mouth fell open. He'd never seen a human that was more pleasing to look at than Dean.

"Uh… nevermind, hope you like the pie."

Castiel swallowed and wanted to say something, but his mouth felt dry, so he just nodded. Dean lifted his head again, a tiny smile on his lips, but his expression turned cold when he looked at Castiel, followed by something else, something only his eyes showed, but Castiel wasn't sure what it was.

"Cas, what's that?"

Cas? For a second Castiel was confused, but then Dean lifted his hand to his face, slowly, but not slow enough. Without intending to, Castiel flinched away and turned his head, hiding his cheek as good as possible.

"It's nothing, it's-"

"Don't gimme that crap."

Surprised, Castiel looked at Dean again and what he saw almost broke his heart. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and even though the other man turned his face away almost immediately, Castiel could tell that there was something else in his eyes, something he tried to hide.

"Your mom or your dad?"

It was just a whisper, a shaky breath, but Castiel could understand every word. He was so startled, so surprised that Dean could tell what was going on just by a quick glimpse, that he didn't even try to hide this time.

"Both. But this… this was my mother," he whispered, before he lowered his head again. His eyes were stinging once more, glistening with unshed tears, but he couldn't allow himself to cry, not in front of Dean.

"Lemme see."

Dean lifted his hand, slower this time, until he could take Castiel's chin between his fingers. Almost carefully, he turned his head to look at the handprint and Castiel could feel his thumb touching it, light like a feather, but he still flinched.

"Does it hurt?"

At some point, Castiel closed his eyes, but Dean's voice sounded much nearer now. He swallowed, before he shook his head.

"It's not that bad, I swear, it's-"

"When?" 

Slowly, the older man opened his eyes, just to see an ocean of  _ green  _ right in front of him. The tears were gone, but what Castiel saw earlier was much more present now, present enough that he could tell what it was.  _ Worry _ .

"A- after church, I didn't- I didn't listen and…"

He couldn't finish the sentence, couldn't get the words out and shook his head instead. Dean's thumb was still on his cheek, caressing it softly. It felt good, better than any other touch Castiel had felt in his entire life.

"That must've been a pretty hard one if it's still visible. Shit Cas, I didn't… I had a feeling, but-"

"You had a feeling?"

Castiel could see how Dean pressed his lips together, but then he sighed and lowered his head.

"Yeah, y'know… after what I saw this morning… your mom didn't seem too pleased with you."

"She never is."

Something about Dean made Castiel feel safe, something about his behaviour, about his  _ expressions _ . He knew that it was probably just because he was the first one who noticed what's going on, who seemed to be worried enough to talk to Castiel about it, but still, it made his heart beat faster.

"You know what, I have an idea. Wanna come down with me?"

Castiel's eyes grew wide and he stared at Dean, afraid of what the green eyed man was thinking about, but he found himself nodding nonetheless. 

"Okay, great, uh…"

Dean let go of his face then, almost like he just realized that he was still holding it and took a step back, while he rubbed his neck again.

"Okay, uh… just act natural, okay? I mean, just be like you always are and… and don't act surprised. I have an idea."

With that, Dean turned around and left the room, fast enough so that Castiel couldn't ask any more questions. He also got up, hesitantly though, and put the plate with the pie on his nightstand. Eventually, he followed Dean, his heart pounding and his hands shaking. When he arrived at the kitchen, everyone turned to look at him. Of course he could see that his parents were mad, but all he could focus on was Dean, who cleared his throat.

"So uh… I thought that maybe Cas- Castiel could come over. Hang out for a bit with Lisa and me, so we get to know each other better. Only if you'd be okay with it, of course."

What? No. No, no, no. God, this was an awful idea. Why did Dean think that would do him any good?

"Go over to your house? You mean overnight?"

Castiel could hear the disbelief in Naomi's voice, could see how her eyes went wide, just for a split second, but then her small, cold smile appeared when Dean nodded. His father crossed his arms in front of his chest and watched them carefully, but didn't say a single word, for which Castiel was more than thankful in that moment. He tried to stay as calm as possible, tried to keep his expression neutral, but something seemed to give away how nervous he was, because when his father looked at him, he squinted his eyes.

"You want that, Castiel?"

The whole room went silent when Bartholomew spoke and it seemed like everyone was holding their breath. All eyes turned on him and Castiel knew that whatever he said next, it would disappoint either Dean or his parents. Carefully thinking about his words, he lowered his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest as well.

"I don’t… I mean, I don't have to, it… uh…"

"Nah, if it's a bad timing I understand, t'was just an idea."

His head snapped up and for the second time that day, Castiel couldn't help but wonder why Dean was protecting him, why he always jumped in when it got too dangerous.

"No, it's fine. Castiel is an adult, he can do whatever he wants, right Bart?"

Castiel watched his mother smile at his father, but her eyes glistened dangerously when she turned to look at him. He looked away, just to notice that Lisa's lips were pressed together in a small line, but Dean was squeezing her hand. Did she know as well?

"Great, then it's settled. Don't worry, I'm gonna bring him back in one piece."

A more than bright grin spread on Dean's face and it looked so proud that Castiel had to smile as well. He could feel the gaze of his parents, but this time, he didn't look at them. Was he really about to spend a night away from them? He couldn't believe his luck, but at the same time he knew that he was in trouble. When he'd come back tomorrow…

"Oh, we'd never doubt you wouldn't," Naomi said and her voice was friendly, a bit too friendly. Shit, he would regret that.

"Okay, uh… Cas, buddy, you need help packing?"

Without even waiting for an answer, Dean got up, not without squeezing Lisa's hand again and walked over to Castiel, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

"We're gonna be right back," Dean said, before he shoved Castiel out of the room and up the stairs. As soon as Dean closed the door to his room behind them, Castiel turned around.

"What was that? Do you have any idea how much trouble you just brought me?"

His voice was quiet but sharp, but Dean just beamed at him, while he leaned against the door.

"Nah, you'll be fine. I have a plan how to keep you out of trouble."

Castiel blinked once, before he headed to his closet to get a bag out. Whatever plan Dean had, he was sure that it wasn't good enough to convince his parents that it was actually a good idea to let Castiel stay somewhere else overnight. With an frustrated sigh, he shoved some fresh clothes, something to sleep in and a book into the bag, before he stepped in front of Dean again.

"I need to go to the bathroom," he said, his voice cold, but that didn't stop Dean from grinning even wider when he took a step aside.

"C'mon man, I'm trying to help you here. Could you be a bit nicer, at least?"

"No. Why do you even want to help me? You barely know me."

That was a question that had been bothering Castiel the whole day. Since Dean jumped in this morning, since he defended him for the first time, he couldn't stop trying to find an answer to  _ why  _ he did that.

"I've uh… I've had some experiences too, y'know."

Suddenly, the smile on Dean's face disappeared and a grimace appeared instead, while he lowered his eyes and stared at the ground. 

"Listen, we can still cancel this, but… I know how you must feel and I wanna show you that it doesn't always have to be that bad. From what I've seen, you never actually had fun in your life and uh…"

Again, Dean rubbed his neck, but the words that came out of his mouth seemed to touch something in Castiel. Were Dean's parents just the same? Did he have friends who experienced the same? His anger disappeared and something else, a warm feeling spread in his chest. Is this what it felt like to actually be thankful? 

"I- I'm sorry. Maybe you haven't seen it, but I know my mother's expressions and-"

"Trust me, I've seen it. But my plan worked, didn't it? So you have to trust me again, I promise you'll be fine after tonight."

Castiel wanted to argue, wanted to tell Dean that after what just happened it was more than likely for his mother to still be angry by tomorrow, but instead he just sighed and opened the door.

"I hope you're right," he mumbled, before he left the room to get the things he needed from the bathroom. When he came back, Dean was lying on his bed, a notepad in his hands, one that Castiel used just a few hours ago. Dean's eyes were wide while he was reading the words Castiel wrote down and he seemed to be so lost in them, that he hadn't noticed the other man coming back at all.

"Uh, Dean… what are you-"

"Dude, is this yours? Did you write these?"

Dean's head snapped around and he was looking surprised, but when Castiel nodded, he started to grin and sat up again.

"These are  _ awesome _ ! You really should send them to some kind of poetry publisher or something, you could make good money. Seriously, I don't usually read shit like this, but you have some kind of talent."

Castiel blushed deeply, but he couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his lips.

"Uh… thanks, I guess. I uh… I'll think about it."

"Good. Uh, you ready?"

Dean pointed to the toiletry bag in his hands and Castiel nodded, before he quickly stuffed it into his bag as well and closed it.

"Dean, I still think that-"

"I think it's a great idea, now move your ass before your parents change their minds."

Castiel made a grimace by the words Dean used, but nodded and lifted the bag, before he nodded to the door.

"You go first," he mumbled and Dean stood up from the bed, leaving his notepad just lying there, but then stopped right in front of Castiel.

"Hey, uh… I really just wanna help you, y'know? I don't wanna be that asshole that tries to… break a family or something, it's just-"

"It's fine Dean, I get it."

Hesitantly, Castiel put his hand on Dean's left shoulder and even if he only touched his clothes, it felt like an electric shock all over again. Surprised, he looked into Dean's eyes, who stared at him with wide eyes, his lips parted. His tongue darted out all of a sudden to wet his lips and Castiel's gaze jumped to track the movement, before he looked back up into the other man's eyes, who was shifting uncomfortably now.

"Alright, uh… just- just wanted to make sure. Let's… uh… yeah…"

Dean pointed to the stairs, before he quickly took a step back and turned around to head down. As soon as their contact broke, Castiel took a deep breath, before he followed Dean downstairs. He couldn't tell what was happening between them, but something about Dean made him feel dizzy, almost like he was flying. Whenever he did something unexpected, Cas wasn't even able to form words anymore, which was weird, because his whole life, he never had a problem with talking to people. Maybe it was because Dean was the first person who actually  _ wanted  _ to help him?

"Okay, guess we're ready."

When Dean entered the kitchen, everyone turned their head and Castiel could see that it wasn't just his parents, even Lisa was looking kind of disapproving now, but either Dean didn't notice, or he just ignored it. He stepped close to his wife and wrapped an arm around her shoulders after she got up, before he looked at Naomi.

"I'll bring him back tomorrow morning before I have to go to work. Should be around… 10.30, probably."

His parents both nodded, but stayed silent and stared at Castiel. He knew what their expressions were trying to tell,  _ you're in trouble _ , but he tried to ignore it and looked at Dean instead.

Without many more words, they waved goodbye and Dean practically shoved Castiel out of the house, a big smile on his face. Lisa followed them, looking much less pleased about what just happened and even gave Dean an angry glance, but the other man didn't seem to care and seemed even more pleased with himself when he noticed. 

When they got into the car, an uncomfortable silence stretched out between them, but Dean didn't seem bothered. Even if it was just a five minute drive, he turned on the radio and turned the volume up, before he started singing, loud enough that people on the street turned their heads to give him a weird look. Lisa stayed silent the whole drive, her arms crossed in front of her chest and Castiel couldn't help but feel bad for her, because it seemed like Dean hadn’t talked to her about this at all before. 

When they arrived, Lisa got out of the car immediately, but Castiel and Dean both stayed, neither of them saying a word and even though the uncomfortable feeling seemed to disappear slowly, Castiel knew that what he just did was a bad idea, a very bad one.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean wasn’t sure where this totally dumb idea came from, but after he’d seen Castiel’s cheek, after he knew for sure what was happening, he had to help him somehow. He knew exactly how it was to be treated like that, to get hit just from not listening and it was an awful feeling. With shaking hands, he unlocked the door - thank you very much for closing it, Lisa - and pushed it open, before he made a gesture for Cas to step in. His heart started pounding as the shorter man walked past him and he had to bite his lip. Shit, why did he smell so good? He closed the door after also stepping in and took off his shoes, but froze when he saw Cas’ face.

“You alright, dude? I know it’s not perfect, but-”

“This is your home? You- you live here?!”

Dean furrowed his brows and studied Castiel’s face for a few moments, before he answered.

“Uh… yup, this is our home. Sorry for the mess, by the way, but I had no time to clean up after baking.”

“It’s fine, really. I bet you- god no, the pie! I didn’t try your pie, I’m so sorry!”

Dean was surprised for a second, but then burst out into laughter, so loud that Lisa stuck her head out of the living room to look at them, her head tilted to the side and her brows furrowed.

“What’s so funny?” Both Lisa and Castiel asked at the same time, which made Dean laugh even harder.

“Oh, no- nothing, just…” 

He couldn’t finish his sentence because he gasped for air, but when Lisa just shrugged and disappeared again, he slowly calmed down. 

“Y’know what, I actually made two pies. You can try a slice later if you wanna.”

Dean swung an arm around Cas’ shoulder, who seemed to be even more confused, but then blushed deeply. Huh, that guy didn’t seem to have much contact with other people when something simple like that made him blush.

“So… what are we gonna do now, huh? Wanna watch a movie? Play some games? It’s on you.”

Castiel’s blush deepened, but a small smile appeared on his face and he lowered his head. 

“If… If it’s not too much to ask, I’d really like to watch a movie. My mother, she- she doesn't even let me touch the TV.”

Wow. The more Dean heard about this woman, the angrier he got, but he tried not to show it, because he had no idea yet how Cas felt about his mother.

“A movie it is, then. Wanna see anything specific? Anything you have in mind?”

With slow steps, Dean led Cas to their living room, where Lisa was sitting on the couch and skipped through the channels without actually watching anything.

“I, um… I always had a fascination for cowboys. When I was in kindergarden, we always talked about them and adored how they were able to control those animals, which have to be much stronger than a human being. Maybe we could watch something with cowboys?”

_ Jackpot. _

"Sure man, I think I have some good movies in mind. Just get comfortable, uh… you want a beer too?"

Lisa gave Dean a disapproving look, but he just rolled his eyes when she wasn't looking.

"I uh, I’ve never drank alcohol before, so I don't think that-"

"Come on, it's just a beer. Besides, we also have these fruity ones, because Lisa here doesn't like the taste of beer."

Castiel sat down on the couch slowly, almost careful and bit his bottom lip, not looking at Dean at all. He stared at the TV for some time and just when Dean was sure he wouldn't answer, he opened his mouth again.

"Why not, I'll take one."

A grin appeared on Dean's face and he headed to the kitchen with a jump in his step. Well, it wasn't going bad so far. If his plan worked and Cas liked staying with them, maybe he could stay a couple of days longer. 

As he reached the fridge, he grabbed two beers and put them on the counter, before he bit his bottom lip.

"Hey Cas, want some pie too?"

He waited a few seconds, but when he couldn't hear an answer, he closed the fridge and walked back to the living room, just to see that Lisa was staring the other man down, who had lowered his head and was fumbling with his hands.

"Cas?"

Castiel's head snapped up and his cheeks turned red, while he was trying not to look directly at Dean.

"Uh… y-yes, I'd um- I'd like to try your pie."

Dean's gaze jumped back and forth between the priest and his wife, but then he put on a fake smile.

"Babe, can I talk to you for a second?," he mumbled, before he turned around without another word, but he could hear his wife standing up and following him. As soon as they both were in the kitchen he turned towards her, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Could you please explain to me what that was? He looked scared as hell!"

Lisa just smiled and took a step closer to Dean, tried to pull his arms down and make him relax a little, but when she noticed that he wouldn't move, she sighed.

"I just… asked him something, something about Naomi. I swear it wasn't even a personal question."

Dean clenched his jaw as soon as he heard Castiel's mother's name and took a step back to get some space.

"What did you ask him?"

"It was nothing, really, I just-"

"Lisa, tell me."

She seemed to notice that he was serious, because her face became hard all of a sudden.

"Why do you want to help him so bad, huh? It's not like somebody helped  _ you _ , you had to go through all of this alone. Besides, are we even sure that he gets mistreated by his family? Because so far, I've seen no proof."

“Why do I want to- do you hear yourself talking? The fucking  _ proof  _ is that he  _ told  _ me, okay? Since when do you need proof anyways? When I first told you about my past, you believed me right away.”

“Yes, but I knew you already. I knew that you wouldn’t lie to me.”

Dean was boiling with anger by now, but he tried to keep his voice down, so that Cas couldn’t hear them. Out of all people, he thought that Lisa would understand, that she would be able to see that something clearly was wrong there, but it seemed like this bitch of a mother had brainwashed her already.

“You know what? How about you go out tonight, huh? Do something with your friends, maybe even have a sleepover, I don’t care. The last thing he needs right now is to feel like he’s not welcome here.”

Dean knew that maybe he was a little too harsh, but something inside him told him that whatever Castiel had to go through was just as bad as the things he had experienced, if not worse. Lisa glared at him, but then turned around without another word and headed up the stairs. Dean let out a quiet sigh and closed his eyes. This was not how he planned their night would go, but if Lisa couldn’t understand how hard it could be to open up, to talk about bad experiences and even thought that this poor guy was lying, he couldn’t have her in the same room while he was trying to help Cas.

With another sigh, he quickly got a slice of pie for Castiel and one for himself, before he grabbed the bottles and headed back to the living room. He tried to put on his most convincing smile as he sat down next to the other man and put the bottles down in front of them on the table, before he handed him the plate.

“Here you go, my own homemade apple pie.”

Cas took the plate hesitantly and eyed the beer, but then bit his bottom lip and lowered his head.

“Dean, I don’t want to cause any trouble. If your wife is not fine with me staying here, I can leave anytime.”

Shit, did he hear them? 

“Nah, ‘ts fine. I just surprised her with inviting you over, ‘ts not a big deal, really.”

Cas sighed, but then nodded and grabbed the fork. Dean watched him closely when he took the first bite, but wasn’t prepared for the moan that escaped the other man, followed by a small smile.

“God, this is delicious! You made this?”

Dean’s throat felt dry all of a sudden and all he could do was nod, while he wet his lips. Cas was looking at him now, right into his eyes and once again, all he could see was  _ blue _ . Fuck, how was it even possible to have eyes like that? He couldn’t tell how long they were staring at each other, how much time had passed, but suddenly Lisa cleared her throat, which made his head snap around.

“I’m going out, don’t wait up for me.”

With that, she turned around and left the room. Dean waited until he could hear the door close, before he let out a quiet sigh. 

“Dean, I-”

“Don’t even say it man, you’re staying.”

Cas put the plate down on the table and turned to face Dean.

“Dean, I know you just want to help me, but if this affects your marriage, I don’t want your help.”

Why was he so close all of a sudden? Did Dean sit down that close to Castiel right at the beginning? His hands got sweaty and he grabbed his bottle to take a big sip, before he was able to answer.

“Look, let’s just pretend this didn’t happen and watch that goddamn movie, alright?”

Cas sighed, but nodded and eyed the beer again, but didn't make a move to drink it. Instead, he took another bite of the pie and moaned once again, his eyes closed and a small smile on his lips.

"You definitely have to teach me how to do that, I haven't eaten anything better than this pie in my whole life."

Dean could feel his cheeks get hot, so he quickly turned his head to look at the TV, thinking about which movie he could choose to introduce Cas to his favorite genre. When he found one, he hit play and leaned back after he took his own plate.

"You can also drink it, y'know," he mumbled when he noticed that the other man was staring at the beer once again, which made Castiel blush, but this time he actually took it and lifted it to his lips. Dean watched as his lips wrapped around the glass and for a second, he forgot to chew. 

"It tastes better than I imagined. My mother always told me that alcohol isn't good for the body, so I thought it wouldn't taste good either."

Dean swallowed quickly and took a big gulp of his own beer, before he nodded. 

"Yeah, but it's only bad for you if you drink too much. One or two beers shouldn't have any big effect on you."

***

Dean was wrong, totally wrong. Two beers later, Cas was a giggling mess next to him, even struggling to sit straight. A faint blush spread over his cheeks and his eyes looked a bit glassy, but Dean figured that he wasn't drunk, just tipsy.

"Okay, gimme that," he said and took the third bottle out of Castiel's hand, but stopped in his movements when their fingers touched and he could feel that Cas' were completely cold.

"Dude, you could've told me that you were cold. Wait, there should be- ah, here. C'mon, take that."

He got a big blanket from behind the couch and handed it to Castiel, who started to giggle again.

"I'm not cold, Dean. Actually, I feel pretty hot."

When Dean gave him a glare, he took the blanket anyway and clumsily tried to put it over his body, but almost slid down off the couch in the process. Dean reached for him just in time and pulled him back up, before he took care of the blanket as well.

"Here you go. Wanna watch another one?"

He nodded to the TV, but Cas was just staring at him, his eyes wide.

"How did you know?"

"What?"

Dean was taken aback by that question, but a few moments later he understood what Cas was asking. Thoughts from his past started to hit him and he thought about lying to the other man for a second, but after Cas was so honest with him earlier, he couldn't do that.

"T'was my dad, he… he used to hit me 'n stuff. Y'know, when you've had experiences like that, you get better when it comes to assessing people. What happened with your mom and the handprint on your cheek, 't wasn't that hard."

Dean stared at the table while talking, afraid that he had scared Castiel, but as soon as he'd finished he could feel a hand on his thigh, squeezing it just a bit.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

Slowly, he lifted his head to look at Castiel, who looked genuinely sorry. His eyes were shining with compassion, so bright that Dean knew that whatever Cas had experienced, it must've been bad.

"Uh… 'ts fine now, y'know? Got outta there and haven't seen him since. But my mom…"

With a sigh he shook his head, unable to finish his sentence. Castiel's hand was still resting on his thigh and he knew that he should feel uncomfortable, but somehow having someone right next to him who'd experienced the same gave him some sort of comfort.

"Your mom's still living with him?"

Dean nodded and Cas furrowed his brows.

"Does he…?"

He didn't have to finish his sentence, because Dean nodded once again, while his chest began to tighten.

"I tried to get her outta there, tried to convince her to move in here, just until she found a job 'n stuff, but she doesn't want to. I don't know, maybe she's afraid that he's gonna find her. I was scared as shit when I ran away, so I can understand her."

Cas just nodded and squeezed his thigh once more, before he pulled his hand away and got comfortable under the blanket. Dean didn't know if it was the loss of body warmth or if Lisa turned down the heater once again, but a sudden shiver ran down his spine.

"I'm uh… gonna go get another blanket, I'll be right back."

Dean was about to get up, but Cas grabbed his hand and pulled him back down with a strength Dean didn't know he had.

"We could also share the blanket, it's big enough. You know, there's a really educational story about sharing in the bible-"

"Okay, nope. Sorry dude, I respect you and your job, but don't gimme that bible crap, okay?"

Cas pulled his hand back all of a sudden like he got burned and stared at Dean with wide eyes.

"Aren't you religious?"

Dean had to hold back a chuckle, because the other man looked so adorable, so  _ innocent _ that Dean never would've thought that he's 36 at that moment.

"Nah, not really. Lisa is the religious one, she just forced me to come with her this morning."

"Then I have to thank her for today. Seriously, this was the most fun I've had in- probably ever. I know I'm gonna regret it tomorrow, but-"

"Nope, you won't. Listen, I have a plan, but you have to play along."

A wide grin appeared on Dean's face and even though he knew that Lisa wouldn't be okay with his plan, he somehow couldn't care less. Another shiver ran through his whole body all of a sudden, but before he could even move a single muscle, Castiel lifted the blanket and moved closer to Dean, close enough that their thighs were touching. 

"Um, thanks," he mumbled as he pulled the blanket up a bit, trying not to think about how close the other man was. As he took the remote again, Cas pulled it out of his fingers and started to flip through the different movies on Netflix, until he found one that seemed to catch his interest.

"Hmm… 'Brokeback Mountain', is that a good one?"

Dean wasn't even looking at the TV, but when he heard the title he immediately grabbed the remote again, his eyes wide.

"Nope, not a good movie, not at all, we're not gonna watch that. Nope."

Cas tilted his head to the side, his eyes squinted, but luckily he didn't ask further.

"Okay, then show me what you like to watch."

With a smile he leaned back, so that their bodies were pressed together from knee to shoulder, but Dean couldn't find a single muscle in his body that wanted to move away. With a grin, he changed the genre and searched for a few moments until he found the perfect movie.

"You okay with a horror movie?" he asked with a grin, which faded quickly as he turned his head and noticed that their noses were almost touching. Castiel didn't seem to care about the lack of personal space and just shrugged, so Dean pressed 'play' and put the remote down. 

***

After about half an hour, Cas was practically sitting on Dean. His legs were draped over his thighs and his face was buried at his chest, ready to hide whenever something scary happened. Dean wasn't even watching the movie, his eyes were glued to Cas, because his reactions were better than a comedy. When he flinched the next time, Dean couldn't hold back a chuckle and nudged Cas with his shoulder. 

"Hey man, you sure you wanna finish the movie?"

Castiel blinked a few times before he was able to answer Dean. When he looked up, it almost seemed like he wasn't even aware that he moved that close to Dean, because he almost jumped when he noticed his own position.

"God, I'm so sorry Dean, I didn't mean to-"

Dean chuckled, before he put one of his hands on Cas' shoulder to keep him in place.

"It's fine, but maybe we should watch something else. Seems like you can't take scary movies."

Cas gave him a glare which made Dean grin even bigger, but then he sighed and nodded.

"Maybe you're right," he mumbled and picked up the remote with a yawn, just to hand it to Dean. 

"You rather go to sleep?" Dean asked as he took the remote and started to search for another movie. He wasn't sure why, but somehow it didn't bother him at all that Cas was practically lying on top of him.

"No- I mean, if you want to go to sleep- I don't want to keep you awake."

"Nah, I'm not tired yet. Another cowboy movie?"

As Dean looked down to look at Castiel's face, their noses touched for just a split second, but it was enough to make Dean's heart beat faster. He was sure that Cas could hear it perfectly in his current position, so he tried to act like nothing had happened and started another random movie without waiting for an answer. Cas seemed to be okay with his decision, because he immediately turned his head to look at the screen, a small smile on his face.

***

Around half an hour into the movie, Dean could feel how Cas' body had become completely relaxed and his breathing had gotten deeper, so he assumed that he must've fallen asleep. For a second, he was thinking about waking the other man up to go to bed, but a quiet voice in the back of his mind told him not to. Who knew how much sleep the poor guy got at home.

With a quiet sigh, Dean got even more comfortable, careful so that he wouldn't wake Castiel up and pulled the blanket up, high enough so that both of them wouldn't freeze. As the movie went on, Dean noticed that he couldn't tear his eyes away from Castiel's face. All of the wrinkles were gone since he was asleep and he looked more peaceful that he'd seen him the whole day. 

Dean's fingers started to tingle and all of a sudden, he felt the urge to bury his hand in the other man's hair, just for a second, to see if it’d feel as fluffy as it looked. He already lifted his hand, but then Cas moved just a bit, which made Dean freeze completely. With one fluent move, an arm was draped around his waist and gripped his shirt. Dean couldn't move, couldn't even breathe, because feelings Castiel's fingers on his naked skin was something he definitely wasn't prepared for. With a silent curse, he teared his eyes away from Cas and stared at the TV, wondering if the older man would stay like that the whole night.

Another twenty minutes and Dean's eyes started to feel heavy, his head dropping down a few times, but he fought hard to stay awake. He couldn't just fall asleep like that, right next to a fucking priest, could he? When his head dropped forward for what felt like the hundredth time, he gave in and leaned back against the couch, his eyes closed. The last thought that ran through his head before he fell asleep was that hopefully, he wouldn't wake up with a stiff neck.


	5. Chapter 5

When Castiel woke up, the first thing he noticed was that he wasn't lying on a soft mattress, no, it was something more firm. It took him some time to remember where he was, but when he did, he tensed up. Did he fall asleep on Dean? Slowly, he opened his eyes, just to see the now black TV screen in front of him. It was still dark outside, so it couldn't be later than six.

He tried to shift just a bit to get more comfortable, but when he did, he could feel an arm, wrapped around his waist, which tightened as soon as he moved. For some reason, a smile appeared on his lips, which was small, but it was definitely there. With a sigh, he closed his eyes again and wiggled around until he got more comfortable. He didn't know why, but his heart was pounding in his chest and being touched like that felt so good, it actually made his eyes water just a bit.

His whole life, he had barely been touched by anyone. When he was a kid and had a nightmare, his mother even told him to just forget about it instead of comforting him. Somehow, lying there in Dean's arms made him feel truly safe for probably the first time ever. 

"Cas," Dean mumbled from behind him. Castiel was already wanting to turn around, but then the other man started snoring again almost immediately, so he figured that Dean was just dreaming. He sighed again and tried to fall back asleep, but his pounding heart and his thoughts wouldn't stop. He still couldn't understand why Dean was helping him, why he even fought with his wife, just to keep him at their place. Castiel never experienced that much kindness in his life, and even though it was nice, he felt bad for causing that much trouble. 

As slow as possible, Cas turned around, until he was facing Dean's chest. He didn't dare to move again after that, didn't even dare to breathe, because he didn't want to wake Dean, but when another soft snore escaped the other man, he sighed quietly. He waited another few minutes though, just to make sure that Dean wouldn't wake up before he leaned his forehead against the other man's chest and closed his eyes. Almost immediately, Dean's arms were wrapped around him again, even tighter this time and his chin was resting on top of Castiel's head.

Being held like this was something he'd never experienced before and soon, the tears he had been holding back for days now rolled down his cheeks. It was only a few at first, but the more Castiel concentrated on being this close to someone, on being  _ safe _ , the more tears came and a few minutes later, he had to bite his lip to be quiet because he couldn't hold back the sobs anymore. He clung to Dean, his hands were buried in his shirt and his face hidden at his chest. He knew that it wasn't true, but it was easy to imagine that no one could ever hurt him again like that. 

Dean woke up slowly, feeling something moving against him. At first, he smiled, which quickly faded when he heard quiet sniffles and noticed that what he felt was a shaking body right next to his. It took him a few moments, but then he remembered what happened the day before and his heart ached. Was Castiel crying? 

He kept his eyes closed, but since his arms were wrapped around the other man already, he tightened his grip just a bit, which caused Castiel's body to shake even harder. He could feel how he moved even closer until their bodies were pressed together from head to toe. Was he ever held like this before? Slowly, Dean opened his eyes and tilted his head down a bit, just to see that Cas was curled up against him. He was clinging to his shirt and without even noticing, Dean's hand moved slowly to caress the other man's back. 

Dean held him until he slowly calmed down, which took almost an hour. Some tears rolled down his own cheeks now and then, but instead of wiping them away, he let them dry on his skin because he didn't want to disturb Cas. He waited until the sobs disappeared completely and then a little longer until Castiel was breathing completely normal again. 

"You feel better now?'' he mumbled, still looking at his soft, dark hair, but then Castiel's head snapped up all of a sudden. When he saw those blue eyes, red and puffy from crying, his heart almost stopped beating. A man like Castiel didn't deserve to be treated like that, to be put through so much pain. What Dean noticed too late was that their lips were touching. It was barely noticeable, but when Cas closed his mouth, Dean could feel the movement on his own lips, so he quickly pulled his head back a bit, while a faint blush snuck its way onto his cheeks.

"Dean, I- I'm sorry, I thought you were still sleeping."

Fuck, his voice sounded so hoarse, so empty that Dean had to swallow hard to hold back his emotions. He forced a smile and tightened his arms around Cas even more, trying to hold him together somehow.

"Woke up not long ago. 'Ts fine, just want you to feel comfortable here."

Cas bit his bottom lip and lowered his head and Dean knew that he probably was more ashamed than he would admit. 

"I am, I really am. I just- it was… new to me, having someone that close. It- it felt-"

"Good?" Dean interrupted with a little smile and Cas nodded quickly. A small smile appeared on the other man's lips as well and as he looked up again, his eyes were shining a bit more, almost like all the crying hadn't happened at all. 

"You want some coffee?"

Slowly, Dean sat up, but not without making sure to squeeze Cas once again. After he stretched his body, he looked at the other man once more, who also sat up, his legs pulled up to his chest.

"Dean, I don't want to be even more of a burden-"

"Dude, you're not a burden. Actually, you're gonna stay a bit longer. A few days maybe. So, what do you wanna eat? We don't have much, but I think bacon and eggs sounds like a good breakfast."

Dean put on his best grin but sighed when he saw Cas wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his head on top of his knees.

"I can't stay longer, Dean. My father, he would-" 

"Yeah, he'd kill you, I know. But lucky for you, I'm gonna protect you. You won't get close to him anymore." 

Cas' eyes went wide for a second, but then he shook his head.

"Dean, you've done more than enough for me. Also, I still have to go to work on the weekends and my mother is always there. I really appreciate-"

"I'm gonna come to church with you every time. I don't work on Sundays, so that's no problem. Also, your mom and dad wouldn't try to hit you when other people can see it, right? So there's only one place it could happen, and I'm gonna wait in that room the whole time. Trust me, man, this plan is safe."

Dean got up and looked at Castiel, who sighed again, but eventually got up as well. They headed to the kitchen and the silence stretched between them. Dean started to prepare breakfast and Cas sat down on the little kitchen table, but as soon as Dean opened the fridge, he broke the silence.

"Is… is there any chance that I could get another slice of your pie?"

The question was so unexpected that Dean couldn't help but laugh out loud. What he was expecting even less was that after a few moments, he could hear Cas chuckling as well. It was low and his voice still sounded a bit hoarse, but that sound alone made Dean's heart beat a bit faster.

"Sure, Lisa hasn't touched it at all. She's on some diet crap again and lemme tell you, I have no idea what to cook for her anymore."

Dean shook his head with a sigh, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Cas tilting his head to the side. 

"You do all the cooking?"

Dean huffed out a laugh, but shook his head at the same time.

"Yeah. If I didn’t cook, I'd probably starve to death. I love her, but- let's just say that even a burger from a drive-through tastes better than what she cooks."

Dean frowned while he closed the fridge, pie in one hand, and all the other stuff he needed for breakfast in the other. When he’d put everything down, he turned to look at Castiel, trying to figure out what was going on inside his head, but his expression remained emotionless.

“You sounded surprised by that,” he stated as he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“I am. My- my mother always said that the wife usually does all the cooking in a marriage.”

Again, Dean’s heart clenched and he lowered his arms to grip the edge of the counter tightly to control his emotions. This guy was 36 years old and had no idea about anything. 

“Well, guess your mom lives in the 1800s then. Seriously, all those ‘The wife does this, the husband does that’ is bullshit. What if you get a wife who can’t cook, huh? What if you get a husband who’s so clumsy that he can’t even put together a simple table? What if-”

Dean stopped abruptly and lowered his gaze. He couldn’t mention gay couples in front of a priest, could he? Wasn’t there some bullshit that something like that wasn’t allowed?

“What if?”

Cas watched Dean closely, his hands folded loosely on the table in front of him. Shit. 

“What… What if both are male? Or female? Those- those rules can’t apply then.”

Dean was too scared to look up, but he could clearly hear the sharp intake of breath, followed by seconds of silence. The younger man was about to look up again, but then he heard Castiel’s voice, much colder than before.

“Homosexuality is a sin, Dean. You have a religious wife, you should know that.” 

_ Ouch.  _ Dean never would admit it out loud, but he knew for years now that he was attracted to men too to some point, so hearing Cas say that felt like a stab to the heart. 

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it. So, what you’re saying, what you were  _ taught  _ is that love is a sin?”

He raised an eyebrow and finally found the courage to look up. Cas was staring at the table, eyebrows drawn together. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, and eventually, he spoke again.

“I- I don’t know. The bible says that it’s a sin, something you can go to hell for.”

When Castiel looked up again, their eyes locked and Dean had to swallow hard because his gaze was so intense that he suddenly got goosebumps everywhere. When the other man licked his lips, Dean couldn’t hold back and his gaze jumped down, just for a split second, but it was enough to remember that he knew what those lips felt like. 

“You want my opinion on that?”

When Cas nodded, Dean took a deep breath and turned around after he got out a knife, partly to cut the pie, but also partly because he was scared that Cas could read his expressions.

“I say love who you want. Life is shitty enough, so why make it even more complicated? If you like someone, go for it.”

Again, silence stretched out in the room, long enough that Dean wanted to squirm. He put one slice of pie on a plate then, while his thoughts were spinning. Cas didn’t seem like he actually believed what he was saying. Huh. Maybe this was his mother’s fault, too? 

“So you’d rather enjoy a short life with someone of the same gender and spend eternity in hell, than going to heaven and being at peace?”

“No, that’s not- okay, listen. You know that I don’t believe in all that bible cr- that bible stuff, so I think that nobody knows for sure what happens after death. If it’s heaven, hell, some kind of afterlife, getting reborn... whatever. All I know is that we have this life and we didn’t ask for it, alright? So why not make the best out of it? Why not enjoy the good aspects of life?”

Cas seemed to actually think about it then because when Dean turned around, he’d lowered his head and was fumbling with his hands. His brows were drawn together once again and he’d sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, which looked hotter than Dean was prepared for. With a quiet sigh, he walked over to the table and sat down on the chair that was standing opposite to Cas, while he placed the plate in front of the other man.

“Listen, I’m not saying don’t believe in it, it’s your job after all, but from what I’ve heard so far you weren’t out much. Do you know how many gay people are out there? My best friend, she’s a lesbian and she’s such a good person. What I wanna say is, if being gay was a sin, why would God create gay people in the first place?”

Cas looked up and pulled the plate close, while he nodded slowly.

“But- don’t these people choose who they want to be with? My mother always told me-”

“Your  _ mother  _ told you a lot of shit, dude. No, those people don’t choose it, it’s who they are. Some accept it, some struggle to, but it’s nothing that you can just change.”

“It seems like you know what you’re talking about.”

Cas raised an eyebrow and Dean almost took it as a challenge, but in the last second, he remembered that he couldn’t just tell another person about his personal desires.

“Nah, just thought about it a lot. Gay people seem to have it difficult, even though we’re in the 21st century.”

The other man nodded then before he lifted the fork and started to eat his pie. His face was expressionless again and Dean would give anything to get a glimpse of what Castiel was thinking, but he was too afraid to ask. 

“I think I was born like that too, then,” the older man mumbled after a while, followed by a quiet sigh. Now, it was Dean’s turn to raise an eyebrow and he leaned in closer, waiting until Cas lifted his head again, which he did eventually.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve never been attracted to anyone in my whole life. My mother always tried to keep me away from girls, later women, but she didn’t have to, because I never felt the desire to touch someone like people usually do.”

Huh, interesting. Could it be that Castiel was asexual? Not that Dean would know what that means, of course, he’d never done research about different sexualities-

“Do you think something is wrong with me?”

The question caught Dean off guard, which seemed to be pretty visible, because a small smile appeared on Cas’ face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to-”

“No, ‘ts fine. I was just thinking, um… you know, there are a lot of different sexualities. I can’t name every single one, but next to the obvious, gay, lesbian and bisexual, there’s also something called asexual. If I remember correctly, that is when, uh- when you don’t feel any physical attraction at all. You can still fall in love, of course, but you just don’t- don’t want to have sex.”

Cas just stared at Dean with wide eyes, long enough that a faint blush appeared on Dean’s face and he had to look away. As soon as the older one spoke again, his voice was full of curiosity and Dean couldn’t hold back a smile.

“What’s… bisexual? My mother only told me about homosexuality in general, I had no idea that there were so many different aspects.”

“Bisexuality is when a person is attracted to more than one gender. Of course, there’s also pansexuality, which is being attracted to all genders, but-”

“All genders? But there are only two as far as I know.”

Dean couldn’t hold back a chuckle anymore because the confused look on Castiel’s face looked so adorable yet so innocent.

“There are many genders, but I think that’s enough for you to think about for now.” 

Cas sighed, but nodded and absently took another bite of his pie. Dean figured that he hadn’t any more questions, for now, so he stood up to get the coffee which was done by now.

“Sugar? Milk?”

“Both, please. And could you make the cup only half full?”

Dean furrowed his brows, but then shrugged and nodded before he filled their cups. When he turned around again to put Castiel’s cup in front of him, he noticed the empty plate and the other man’s glance to the pie, which was still standing on the counter. 

“You want some more?” he asked with a grin and nodded to the pie, but Cas quickly shook his head and lowered it.

“Dean, I can’t-”

“Yes, you can. Now shut up and eat that pie, alright?”

“Alright,” Cas mumbled with a sigh and tried to stand up, but Dean was faster and grabbed the knife before he looked at the other man with a raised eyebrow.

“I swear to God- or… whatever- that if you don’t sit down again immediately, I’m gonna shove you into that chair and tie you up. You’re my guest man, so just accept that I wanna do things for you.”

The words came out harsher than Dean intended, so he added a little smile, which seemed to melt Cas in some way because he sat down again without another comment.

Cas watched Dean closely while he waited for his second piece of pie, his heart so full he felt like it could explode at any second. Never in his life had he experienced such kindness and even though he felt bad that Dean was doing so much for him, he couldn’t help but smile and enjoy the attention. What they talked about before was still in his mind and he tried to understand the concept of different sexualities, of love in general, but since he’d never felt something even close to that, to him, it seemed like something that couldn’t exist.

“How did you know you love your wife?” he asked all of a sudden when Dean put the plate down in front of him, which made the other man chuckle.

“Don’t know, I think I just… knew it. She’s perfect, y’know? She’s everything I ever wanted in life and more.”

Cas watched closely as Dean smiled, but after a few seconds of silence, the smile turned into a frown.

“At least… she was. I’m not sure anymore, to be honest. But you can never be sure, right?”

With a shrug, Dean started to eat his own slice of pie, which he got when he gave Castiel a second one. The older man also took a bite, but his eyes were glued to Dean’s face, to his impossibly green eyes, to the almost invisible stubble on his jaw, to the way his lips moved when he was chewing. Right, his lips.

“Did you betray your wife then?”

Dean almost spat out his pie, and when he managed to swallow it down, his eyes were wide, while his mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out.

“I’m sorry, I just remembered that our lips touched for a second, and my mother always told me that something like this counts as betrayal.”

A nervous laugh escaped Dean and his eyes jumped back and forth between the table and Cas’ face, while his cheeks turned bright red.

“No, no man, that’s uh… that’s not how this works. I mean, in a way it is, but not like that. Um… t’was an accident, alright? So, if I would’ve kissed you- not that I would kiss you, dude,- then it… it could count as cheating. But- like I said, I- I didn’t  _ want  _ to kiss you, so it’s uh… it’s fine I guess.”

Cas tilted his head to the side and squinted his eyes, and Dean was praying that he couldn't tell that some of what he just said was a lie. Was it cheating when an accidental touch that was short like the touch they shared was stuck in his brain? 

His lips jumped to the other man’s lips for what felt like the hundredth time today and before Dean knew, he was imagining how it would feel to kiss those lips for real, to feel the stubble scratching over his skin in just the right way. His body seemed on board with the idea too because a sudden twitch in his pants made him swallow hard. 

“Oh… alright then,” Cas mumbled and slowly took another bite of his pie. His tongue darted out to get the crumbs on his lips and Dean couldn’t help but follow the movement with his eyes. When Cas didn’t get all the crumbs, the younger man's hand twitched for a second, itching to wipe it away, but he stood up instead.

“You know what, ‘m gonna take a shower so that you can use the bathroom when you're done. Just… uh… make yourself at home, I guess. I’m gonna be back soon.”

With that, Dean turned around without waiting for an answer and practically ran up the stairs, which was way more difficult than he imagined with a now very visible tent in his pants. Shit, if he wanted Cas to stay with them, he’d have to find a way to control his body, otherwise, Lisa and Cas both would notice. 

When he reached the bathroom, he slammed the door shut behind him and locked it, before he quickly undressed and stepped under the shower with a sigh, hoping that it wasn’t a mistake to let Castiel live with them.


End file.
